H8x0r Pure Pwnage fan fiction By Jeffery "Felinoid" McLean Outside night Kyle, Doug and Teh Pwner are walking home together. Doug We pwned those noobs Teh Pwner Those weren't noobs. They were distracted. Kyle We had more attacks today than all week Teh Pwner People seem desprite. It's not just about being pro anymore. It's like someone is desprite to take me out of the picture. Doug Now your just being paranoid. Kyle No. I agree. Those people this morning. Teh Pwner Those were n00bs Doug Just got past the tutorial Kyle Those were just to wear us down. Teh Pwner Us? Doug You and me. Kyle knows he's a n00b. He's here for playback. Teh Pwner Ok. So like what? We pwned. Kyle And pwned, and pwned, and pwned Teh Pwner Your point? Kyle Even you take breaks between games. This is nonstop. Wearing us down. Doug Your micro was a little laggy last time Teh Pwner. Hay, I'm still teh pwner. Kyle Let's just get in doors before we meet with someone else. Just then two kids walk up to the group, Teh Pwner Isn't it late for you n00blets to be out? The kids look up. One boy one girl both with cybernetic hardware where there faces should be. The Pwner Cosplay? Doug Those aren't cosplayers. We better get going Kyle Wait. What about thies kids? We can't leave them out on a night like this. Teh Pwner (Now realising what the kids really are) Kyle back away from the kiddys. Doug (While making a retreat) Come on Kyle (turnning two the others) They are kids Teh Pwner No they are kiddys. Get out of there before it's too late. Cybernetic Boy (In a compleatly artifical voice) Access Kyle Teh Pwner starts using his Micro on the kids but the cyber girl holds up a hand creating some sort of shield. Doug pulls out his gun but the girl twists her hand to disable it. Cybernetic Boy Deleate Kyle vanishes leaving nothing but his camra. The girl looks Teh Pwner in the eyes with her cybernetic camra and in that moment Teh Pwner passes out. Doug realising he is in way over his head trys to escape but they both stop him. Cybernetic Boy (while the cybernetic girl makes a hand gesture) Wall Doug backs up to the wall looking for his chance to escape. The girl puts Kyles camra on top of Teh Pwner while the boy approches Doug Cybernetic Boy (In his real voice) You will not leave him behind. Doug is for the moment greatful the kids are permitting him to take his friend and he waists no time in scooping him up. No sooner dose Doug have his arms full of Teh Pwner and Kyles camra than the cybernetic kids vanish. The folowing morning. Doug is talking to Teh Master Teh Master You escaped Doug They let me escape. Teh Master And teh Pwner? Doug At home but he hasn't recovered. Teh Master Tell me about your attackers Doug Script Kiddies Teh Master looks at Kyles camra Teh Master Script kiddies did not do this. Doug They deleated kyle Teh Master No. They wanted you to think he was deleated. Teh Master holds up Kyles video camra Teh Master He is right here. Teh Master opens up the camra to reveal a 660 gig secure digital memory card Teh Master On this chip. Doug Looks like an ordenary chip to me. Teh Master Really? Nothing odd at all odd about a 660 gig memory card? Doug Well I didn't know they could hold that much information. Teh Master They don't. This chip was made by your attackers Doug You don't mean to say... Teh Master I do. Your face to face with the greatest threat to pro gammers. 1337 H8x0rs. The best. And maybe Jacks. Doug Jacks? Teh Master Jack of all trades. I mean those 1337s aren't just H8x0rs. They are pro gammers, Doug seems conserned Teh Master Techs and maybe even game programmers. Doug I want you to lissen to me very carefully. Thies kids may be g0dz. Doug What do g0dz want with teh pwner? Teh Master The question is what do g0dz want with you? Take Kyles camra home and look in on teh pwner. We will speak again tomarow. Back at teh Pwners home. Doug is at Teh Pwners bed when he recovers from what happend. Teh Pwner starts to sit up but Doug urges him to take it slow. Doug Relay friend. When is the last time you woke up quickly? Teh Pwner Never Doug Don't start now. Teh Pwner What happend to me? We got n00bed by script kiddies Doug Teh Master tells me they weren't kiddies. They were Jacks or something. Teh Pwner G0dz? Doug Yeah thats what he called them. Teh Pwner Oh no. I heard rummors of G0dz ripping up the games. I thought it was just rummors. G0dz usually have better things to do. Inventing new chips and building new games. Besides G0dz don't have endurence. Doug Must we why they wore us down first. You know thow n00bs at us to bring us down to there level. Teh Pwner Naah Even n00bs don't answer to g0dz. Something else is happening. Cyber Girl (In her voice) Glad you could figure that much out yourselfs The Cyber boy shows up carrying a cybernetic camra Cyber Girl This was to protect you untill we were ready. Doug Protect us now? Cyber girl Keep you off the streets. On your toes and get him some sleep. The cyber boy takes the secure digital memory card from Kyles camra and puts it into the cybernetic camra. Then he pushes a button. Cyber camra Sequence activated. Restoring file, Kyle. Zap Kyle is back wearing a camra on his face. Kyle Wow this thing has some pritty cool features. Cyber Boy Night vision. Holo graphic playback. The works. Cyber girl You can not be expected to truely pwn with infereor hardware. Kyle What do you mean? Cyber girl Your mad film skilz are vital to what is comming. Doug will need all the help he can get. Teh Pwner Doug? But what about me? Cyber Boy Elinate each one by one untill the fps doug is all alone. Cyber girl We can not permit that. Teh Pwner Cann't you take care of it yourselfs? Cyber girl I have paintings to finish. Cyber boy I have a computer to build Both cyber girl and boy Then we have a game to create. Cyber Boy So much work Cyber girl So little time. Cyber Boy Must go Cyber girl Remember to scan for viruses. The two vanish. Closing: A few details I wanted to clear up. Jacks will never be as good as true pro grammers becouse Jacks have a larger number of skills to keep up where as true pro gammers have only one. G0dz however have specalised in an area so all the skillz they maintain are all focused on one area. Teh Master is a g0d of the games. The cyber kids are g0dz of hardware. Teh Master couldn't give FPS Doug his own gun, He didn't build the Pwners computer. He got it done. He has altered his own computer to do amazing things and he dose make his own weapons if and when nessisary. However only he can control his computer or his weapons. This isn't due to quality but due to his inability to compleatly refine the technology. The kids can compleatly refine the technology. They can build a computer and weapons and occasional murge them into a solid unit. The cybernetic masks are computers, camras and weapons. They are every tool the kids need. The kids made a memory card that is byond the state of technology. The kids however could not defeate teh powner even with all that and mad skillz. They had to hack to win. Micro for Micro the kids would lose instantly. They knew this long before they arrived. They game to make better equipment for games. That is for them the only fuunction of there gamming skillz. To design build and test new hardware.